I Don’t Want My Colleagues to Know What I Look Like

Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

I’m an introverted 23-year-old woman of color who looks 17 with no makeup on. I’m an engineer, and I work in tech with mostly white/Asian men, all over 35.

To me, camera-off Zoom meetings are the great equalizer.

I’m just another disembodied voice floating in Zoom space, discussing project deadlines and solution architecture.

I don’t have to think about if I look young with my hair up or if my boots are too sexy.

I don’t have to tower over the short barking boomers in my heels as they shuffle into the conference room or prepare for the “you’re the same age as my daughter!” comments.

The only thing that matters is what I say in meetings and what I write in emails.

The pandemic allowed me to build my skills and confidence from the comfort of my childhood home.

I no longer had to waste energy trying to manage my facial expressions and maintain a calm exterior when my manager rips into me about something that wasn’t my fault.

I could put myself on mute to blot away my inevitable frustration tears and steady my voice before responding to critique.

I could overprepare for client presentations and have my script on the right of the screen to prevent me from…